As parents age, many hope to repair strained relationships with their adult children. Gerontologist Sam Cradduck says the first step is accepting what you cannot control: how the other person responds. Forgiveness takes one person, but a relationship takes more than one, and knowing the difference can spare families years of frustration.
According to Dr. Rhea Rogers, a genuine apology has three parts. Acknowledge the harm, make no excuses, and change the behavior. Healing follows on the hurt person’s timeline, not the schedule of the person who caused the pain. Aging experts add that the conflict people think they need to address may not be the real issue, and that many long-running rifts have been around so long nobody remembers what started them. Cooling down and gaining some objectivity before an emotionally charged conversation makes a real difference.
If you’re navigating this with your own family here on the Suncoast, you’re in plenty of company, because estrangement between older adults and relatives is increasingly common. Self-awareness, patience, and letting go of what can’t be controlled are the tools experts point to again and again. Have you ever repaired a relationship you thought was over? Tell us what worked.
